


the cliff-edge of normal

by ruiconteur



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Slice of Life, and isn’t chosen as champion, at least three characters come out as queer, hogwarts everybody, oh and the professors have an illegal betting pool, that’s what, what happens if harry has a normal year for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 23:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20397658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruiconteur/pseuds/ruiconteur
Summary: To absolutely no one’s surprise, Viktor Krum is chosen as Durmstrang’s champion.(alternatively, how the choosing of the champions would go if Harry’s name isn’t pulled from the Goblet and he has a shot at a normal year for once.)





	the cliff-edge of normal

**Author's Note:**

> so uhhh this was a request. which is like,,,, a year old oh no
> 
> this was 90% crack ngl so please enjoy?

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Viktor Krum is chosen as Durmstrang’s champion.

Ron snorts. “Of course it’s Krum,” he says, almost jealous. Behind him, the other Durmstrang students are breaking open bottles of alcohol to celebrate. “Did anyone else even stand a chance?”

Harry shrugs. “It doesn’t look like they thought they did,” he says, looking pointedly over his shoulder, and watches Ron’s eyes widen when he glances behind at the impromptu party.

“Holy sh—is that oblak?” He grins. “I should get some for Charlie, he loves that stuff.”

“You are _underage_, Ron, do not buy your brother alcohol,” Hermione says sharply, not looking up from her book. “You could be expelled.”

“I don’t know why you think that’s going to stop me,” Ron says idly, eyes still fixed on the bottles of oblak. “The safety regulations here are so bad, I have a better chance of living to see twenty if I drop out now.”

Harry covers his grin with a hand, deliberately not looking at Hermione’s affronted expression. “You can’t just drop out of school,” she hisses. Behind her, the goblet flares red and spits out another slip of paper, but she ignores it. “It’s simply not done.”

Ron doesn’t hear her, too busy watching the Beauxbatons champion move up to the staff table. “Harry,” he says, and reaches out to grip his arm. “_That’s_ Fleur?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, I suppose so. Why?”

Hermione watches Ron with a blank expression. “Do you know her?” she asks.

Ron gives her an odd look. “I had to listen to my own sister _flirt_ with her, Hermione. Of course I know her!”

Ginny drops down beside Harry, ignoring his startled squeak. “She saw me hex Zacharias Smith because he wouldn’t leave a second-year alone,” she informs them, popping a candy in her mouth. The look she gives Ron is completely guileless. “I couldn’t just ignore her compliment, what would Mum say?”

The only response she gets is a scowl. “That’s playing dirty.”

“Did it work?”

Harry snorts, then yelps as Ron elbows him in the side. “Absolutely not,” Ron says, too quickly to be believable.

The slow grin spreading across Ginny’s face makes even Harry wince. “It _did!_” she crows.

Ron shoots Hermione a terrified look, who’s very determinedly not looking at him. “Oh, would you look at that?” she says, staring at the Goblet like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world. Her expression tells Harry to play along or else. “I think they’re choosing the Hogwarts champion now!”

Fleur Delacour has only just reached the door to the adjoining chamber, there’s no way the Goblet’s choosing another champion yet. But by some miracle, Harry manages to suppress his laughter long enough to say, “Is that why Angelina looks so nervous?”

Hermione’s eyes flick down the table to where Angelina Johnson sits. “I would suppose so, yes,” she agrees, still in that faux casual tone that makes Harry want to either laugh or run away.

“Wow,” Ron says, looking between the two of them in disbelief. “My two best friends, leaving me to the mercy of my _sister_.”

Mouth curling into a smirk, Ginny coos, “Aw, does the big baby want some new friends?”

“I’ll take that and a change of sisters, thanks.”

snorts. “You couldn’t afford to sell me.”

“Yeah,” Ron hums, tapping a finger against his chin. “Pretty sure there’s something in our house worth more than you.”

Ginny lets out a surprised laugh. “Baby lion’s got claws,” she says approvingly. “That wasn’t half bad, big brother.”

Harry raises an eyebrow at that. “Who’s the baby here?” he mutters. It’s not loud enough for anyone but Hermione—who just laughs—to overhear. Thankfully. He doesn’t want to know what Ginny’s reaction to that would’ve been.

Then the Goblet flares red. A sudden hush descends upon the Hall. Even Hermione closes her book and pays attention. Which is kind of surprising, Harry’d expected her to completely ignore all of this.

Red flames soar up into the air, and the last slip of paper goes flying in Dumbledore’s direction, who snaps up a hand to catch it. He unfurls the piece of paper, and Harry holds his breath when his expression smooths over.

“The Hogwarts champion,” Dumbledore starts, each word enunciated carefully, so slow that even the professors are starting to look impatient, “is—Cedric Diggory!”

The uproar that comes from the Hufflepuff table is unparalleled by anything that’s happened so far in Hogwarts. Cedric walks up to the teachers, a flush of pink high on his cheeks that only grows when Professor Sprout beams proudly at him. The Hufflepuffs are cheering wildly, and Harry sees a few of them crying and tackling each other with hugs.

“Bloody badgers,” Ron mutters, but he’s grinning in wry amusement.

Hermione claps politely. “Don’t be rude, Ron,” she says, smiling over at Susan Bones, who grins back, almost bouncing in her seat. “You’re just mad because he isn’t a Gryffindor.”

Ron rolls his eyes. “Anyone’s better than Pretty-boy Diggory,” he says, no heat to his words.

Hermione arches an eyebrow at him. “Even a Slytherin?” she asks. “I’ll be sure to tell Malfoy you have such a glowing opinion of him.”

“That’s not—That’s not what I meant!”

Harry laughs. “The Goblet’s been doing this for centuries, hasn’t it?” he says, propping his chin up on his hand and gazing at the chamber Cedric’s just disappeared into. “I think it knows what it’s doing. Surely it would only have chosen the best candidate.”

He’s not quite happy about its choice, but at least Cedric is nice. Hogwarts could do a lot worse.

Across the table, Seamus Finnegan snorts. “Doesn’t hurt that he’s handsome too, yeah?” he says, just loud enough for him to hear.

Harry shrugs. “I’m not the only one.” His eyes flick to the way Seamus is tapping out a rhythm on the back of Dean Thomas’s hand, who slants a knowing look at him.

“Low, Potter,” Seamus accuses, lips quirking up into a lopsided grin.

Dean murmurs something too low for Harry to hear, and Seamus turns bright red. Harry laughs. “I don’t want to know,” he tells them, and turns back to Ron and Hermione.

“I still think Angelina should’ve been chosen,” Ron is saying, slumped over the table.

Hermione rolls her eyes at him. “Keep telling yourself that.” She’s running a finger over and back around the spine of her book, tracing circles into the embossed cover. “I’ve got to congratulate Susan later,” she says. “She hasn’t shut up about this for ages.”

Someone snorts, and Harry looks to find Angelina rolling her eyes. “When does Susan Bones ever shut up?” she says, exasperation written across her face. If she’s disappointed about not being chosen, she doesn’t show it. “I’ve half a mind to slap a silencing charm on her one of these days.”

“Well.” There’s an amused smile playing around Hermione’s lips. “You’re not wrong.”

Angelina says something else, but Ron jabs Harry in the side before he can catch it. “Look,” he hisses, “I think they bet on this!”

Harry follows his gaze to the staff table, where Sprout is very gleefully collecting galleons from her fellow professors. “I don’t think Snape’s very impressed,” he says, amused.

Ron snorts. “Snape’s never impressed with anything other than himself.” He looks at the table again. “Flitwick looks way too happy,” he decides. “Did he—Merlin’s pants, he bet on Hufflepuff too!”

“What,” Harry says, and twists back around to watch. Sure enough, Sprout is splitting the galleons between the two of them. “Did he not bet on his own House?”

“Maybe they bet on either one of their Houses getting picked,” Ron says absently, eyes still fixed on the table. “I don’t think they’re supposed to be betting in front of us.”

“They got away with that fiasco back in second year,” Harry feels the need to point out. “I’m not entirely sure why illegal betting should stop them.”

“Percy would have an aneurysm.”

“Percy had to deal with Dumbledore as Head Boy, I’m pretty sure he’s immune now.”

Ron bites back a grin. “You’re not wrong,” he says, sounding so much like Hermione Harry almost laughs.

He’s about to point it out when Dumbledore clears his throat, still beaming down at them. “Excellent!” he says. “Well, we now have our three champions, who I’m sure are delighted by the support they have been shown thus far.”

He pauses here, sweeping his gaze over the crowd, then continues, “You will be informed as to when the first task will take place closer to the date. Lessons will end early that day, so I trust you will all be able to make your way there in time to show your support for your champion.”

That seems to be a signal to the other judges, who all get up and move to the chamber as one.

Professor McGonagall stands up then, staring sternly down at the Hall. “I understand that it’s been a rather exciting day,” she says, her tone dripping with pure disapproval, “but I expect you all to be in bed by midnight. No wild parties,” and here she shifts her gaze to the Hufflepuff table, who grin unrepentantly up at her, “and _certainly_ no gossiping. Dismissed.”

Hermione immediately gets up and runs over to Susan, crashing into her when she skids to a stop. “Congratulations!” Harry hears her yell over the noise.

Susan grins and wraps her arms around her in a hug, saying something that Harry doesn’t catch. But he does see Hermione throw her head back and laugh, then smack a sloppy kiss on Susan’s cheek.

Harry blinks. Are they a thing? He didn’t know that.

Turning to Ron, he opens his mouth, intending to ask about it, but only gets even more confused when he finds Ron glaring down at the table.

Seamus and Dean just stare at him when he asks, expressions a little bewildered and amused and condescending all at once. Heaving a sigh, Dean reaches over and pats his shoulder. “You’re the most oblivious idiot I’ve ever met,” he informs Harry, then hooks his arm through Seamus’s and drags him off.

Now he’s even more confused. He turns back to Ron, who still looks displeased, but manages to muster up a smile for Hermione when she returns.

“I’m impressed,” she says, still grinning. “this year seems to be pretty normal so far, we might not need to break any rules!”

Harry exchanges a look with Ron, then says, “Hermione, you do realise that we’re hosting the Triwizard Tournament.”

She raises an eyebrow at him. “And your name was miraculously not pulled from the Goblet, so what’s your point?”

Oh.

“Merlin,” Ron says, wide-eyed. “We might actually have a normal school year for once.”

**Author's Note:**

> i will probably end up extending this if i have time, if only so i can shove in all the headcanons that didn't make it in here
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
> follow me on tumblr!


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